We learn best through messy AF practice with other people.

We don’t become great at skiing by watching the olympics, or by reading books about skiing, or even by taking lessons with a great champion. We become great by getting on the slopes, over and over again, in all sorts of conditions. We become great by... falling down.

I took my son skiing for the first time last week, and he had a blast. He also fell down. A lot.

And every time he fell down? it was another opportunity to learn how to get himself back up (an essential skill, if you’re actually going to go skiing one day without your mamma, really).

We encourage this in children, but we tend to resist this kind of learning as adults. ESPECIALLY, when we’re learning interpersonal skills: leadership, management, motherhood, allyship, activism.

Part of this is because, when we practice in community with other people, we don’t just hurt ourselves when we mess up. We can harm others.

The 5 of Wands

The 5 of wands card shows an image of 5 figures all fighting with staves. Not… particularly well. It looks like they’re learning to fight with staves, in the way small children learn to “fight” by just… wailing on each other.

And, honestly, if you want to get good at fighting, you do have to practice fighting with other people. You risk getting hurt every time. And you risk hurting others.

This is the ONLY way to learn certain skills.

When I look around me at the world right now, there are some big challenges we need to learn how to face. We want to learn how to fight fascist regimes. We want to learn how to restructure our society so that it is more fair, more equitable, and so that it actually takes care of everyone. We want to learn to show up more for our neighbors, and people we don’t know. We want to learn how to be brave, authentic, kind, AND still successful.

We can’t learn this by watching the news, scrolling social media, or even taking classes from experts. The only way we will learn is by being in it. By trying. And by fucking up. And then? Fixing it.

This week is a Learn By Doing week.

This week we remember that real learning doesn’t happen without fuck ups.*

So, this is NOT a week for putting off the hard stuff. This is a week to embrace doing the hard things that you can learn from, especially those that include other people, as practice.

The point is to try, not to get it perfect.

The point is to try, notice, and learn.

💻 The Practical

Make sure you have at least one thing on your schedule or to-do list this week that feels like a stretch or a challenge. Something that stresses you out a bit, or activates your nervous system.

Some examples might be talking to your boss about a raise or promotion, a job interview, a blind date or a networking event, hosting an event or meetup, or having a conversation with a loved one where you hold them accountable for something that’s been bugging you.

Remember: DO NOT approach this as a chance to “get it right”. Instead, approach it as a practice session. A chance to try your hardest and learn how to do better in the future.

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🌟The Magical

Go in Regulated

Just like you would warm up for an intense workout or a soccer match, you want to prepare yourself so that you can show up in the right energy.

Do this by spending time before the event or conversation meditating and visualizing the outcome you desire, and imagining how it might feel in your body.

If there’s no particular outcome you’re attached to? Even better! Meditate to calm and center your own energy and set the intention that you will learn exactly what you need to know.

Alchemize After

Take time after the event/conversation to integrate the learnings and shifts that occurred. These can be mental, emotional, and energetic, so you’ll want to get all of those aspects involved in this settling ritual.

Start by journaling about your experience for 5-10 minutes, writing down anything that’s still on your mind, anything you want to remember, etc. Don’t edit or make it pretty, just let yourself write stream-of-consciousness style.

Then do some form of movement practice with the intention to shake out any old or unnecessary energy (like anxiety from the lead-up, or past expectations you’re ready to let go of) and let the new wisdom and energy settle into your body. Dancing is great for this, as is going for a walk or run.

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You've got this, babe.

And remember, you're not alone. This is a tarot card draw, which means someone - an ancestor, a spirit guide, a guardian angel - knows this is a perfect time for you to do this work. You've got back up and support of the supernatural variety, here.

And, of course, you've got me!

Respond to this email and let me know how this one hits.

Love, Megan

*For example, if you know how to knit a perfect sweater, but don’t know how to fix your work if you drop a stitch…. you don’t really know how to knit, do you?